Perfection

Most of my life I have trudged, blood sweat and tears, chasing perfection.  I know now that there is no such thing and consider myself a perfectionist in recovery, but like anyone in recovery I have lapses.  Most of the time they only affect me, however some days when I am at my most frustrated, I lash out at those closest to me : (  I usually take it all out on myself though and recognize that I say things to myself that I would never dream of saying to another human being.  I don't know why I'm so hard on myself, but I've heard it said that we are our own worst critics, I can certainly attest to that!  I was accused once by someone trying to hurt me of not being detail oriented.  And honestly I know to the core of my being that nothing could be farther from the truth!  For me the beauty is in the details, the little unexpected touches you may not even notice until much later.  But why is it that something you know to be false can have such a lasting effect!?!  I try to remind myself that you get what you give, and there's enough negativity in the world with out me adding to it.  So be good to yourself because no one else has the power to make you happy!